I want to be a writer. Maybe. I don’t know for sure. I don’t know many things for sure.I start so many things that I don’t finish (I can't be sure,?). I bite off more than I can chew. I might laugh too much, too. I often have grandiose ideas. I spend too many nights wasted.
These things in themselves are, part of what is perhaps one of the biggest dilemmas in my life. I have a wide range of interests leaving me baffled at which one to pursue wholeheartedly (because we all have to pursue something wholeheartedly, right?) I am easily intimidated by what it takes to be something other than what I have fallen in to. I don’t really know “how” to write and am not sure how I would take to writing “assignments” as a writer. I only have my ideas of what it takes to be a writer (from being, what can only be considered, a modest reader). My mind wanders so often on these thoughts. How disciplined must a writer be? Is it an everyday chore? Should these ideas (to be a writer) have emerged before now? How could I have not known? Am I just too scared or overwhelmed at the very title of it?
I like art. I think it’s beautiful, interesting and in many ways, the meaning of life--that is, to say art in the broadest sense of the word (painting, creation, music, writing, rhyming, etc) is truly the meaning to a life; it is, categorically, “the means” and “the end.” It’s funny that I can speak so highly of something I really no so little of (formally, at least). Why have I not sought it out in a more scholarly or professional way?
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret a day of the 4 ½ years spent on the study of "the mind, mental states and human behavior." Psychology has certainly been applied to almost everything in the world- crime, advertising, work, achievement, failure, art, creativity- and found its place within it. Thus, we come full circle; for, in a certain kind of way this brings me back to my original dilemma; a wide-range of interests with no strong predilection towards any one thing, particularly when thinking about careers. I can go anywhere with it. So where do I go?
6 comments:
I've had this same 'problem' for years, brendan. I've now choosen architecture, and I constantly question if its right, no matter how perfect it may seem.
I think the best way to judge is to picture the absolute perfect situation in your choosen dream profession, no matter how many years away that situation is, ask yourself if you want it enough, and if so, just put your head down and go for it, don't look up till you get there, and don't lose sight of the that final destination.
(god that sounds cheesey as shit, huh?- do me a favor and rewrite that to sound inspirational).
My philosophy is, why limit yourself to thinking you can only pick one thing? I know I dreamt of being a graphic designer, animator, in marketing...already tried all of them and NOW know that's not what I want to do. Try writing, try art, dabble into everything, if it doesn't work out, try the next thing. You may truely figure out what you want to do from trying those other things first...(that's what happened to me!)
Hey Brendan, a really great book about writing (and life, so it says on the cover) is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. It's really good for helping sort out the writing-bullhonky in your brains.
I fancy myself a write sometimes, shit I even had an article published in a magazine, but I don't know what I would be able to do as a full time writer. Try writing an article abtou somethign you are into and see if you can get it published. Write abtou Ryan Adams and see if you can get it published in Portfolio.
As far as career paths go I am just as confused as you are. Now that I'm an adult there are even more things to consider like "does this job have good health coverage?" so the decision is even tougher. I agree with kellie that you have to try things out to really decide what you want to do.
the swamp ass citizen used the perfect word "dream"
be a male model.
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