nothingyet

the time of day is everything to me (kick up your feet).

the world of wood as idea/representation, in a bird's mind's eye.
cuckoo.

sounds like a plan

in an event that can only be described as "classic beach" we arrived at Ocean 17 around 9:30 for the Cardinal Skateboard shop's first video premiere.


Chaplain and his mom were there and green wristbands were given out to drink free keg beer, as the punk rock music blared on, in a hopping and swinging joint, full of mesh hats and hurley gear.

"all the usual suspects" were there, as Chaplain's dad said, upon entering the establishment.



i think dave and kristin had a good time, at least (after my strongly suggesting their attendance) i hope they did.

bless him o' Lord.

Dude, last night was totally fucked! i dreamt (nightmared) that one of my best mates was dead! i had this vivid picture of receiving a text from my dad that "Rory has died." i should have known immediately that it was all a horrible, awful, no good nightmare, given that my dad doesn't even have a cell phone, but alas, dreams are not reasonable creatures. i woke up and, clearly, only somewhat in my right mind, checked the internet and saw his myspace profile to make my heart sing of joy. please be careful, Rory, please be careful. i apologize for having such hidden, subconsciously morbid thoughts..

here's to the holidays

Heavenly thoughts;- everafter, paradise, wispy clouds, pearly white gates, forgiveness, father, ecstacy, bliss, nirvana, sky, God, transcendance, soul, sunrise, sunset

I saw a show on popular television last night assessing different ideas of Heaven and the afterlife. Many conflicting and controversial beliefs brought me back to thinking about things I haven’t thought much about in a long time. Is there rebirth or eternal life? Who goes to hell? How do you accept Jesus Christ as your savior and let him into your heart? When people report of near death experiences, was it truly heaven’s “white light” they saw or just the brain’s chemical reaction to a lack of oxygen; the brain’s beginning reaction to shutting down for good? I don’t think we’ll ever really know these things with absolute certainty, but faith is all that’s really important in these kind of debates anyway. You can’t really shake faith, it’s the last to die, and many don't ever experience it until they have to or they're made to.
The December solstice – the moment when the sun is at its greatest distance from the celestial equator – comes at 1:35 p.m. today, marking the start of winter in the Northern Hemisphere. Does this have anything to do with heaven? I don’t know. wishful winter.

Fortunes

Last night i went to a independent movie premiere, at the Naro theater in Norfolk. Directed by a good friend of a friend, Parker Cross, the movie, Fortunes, was a funny comedy about three friends questioning both fate and themselves after impulsively visiting a fortune teller. i thought it was pretty damn funny, after going into it without preconceived notions. i would recommend it to anyone.



Then an after party was held at Zio's restaurant, which was a fun reception.















Bobby P, proudly displaying his latest acquistion.













Richard was there, his wife is pregnant with twins. He is currently in med school, so as you can imagine, he is busy.














Rachel likes to wear this hat to bed.

hmmm

i love the new yorker

DH Lawrence, a favorite author of mine, was featured in an article in the New Yorker, referring to a new book about his life, "DH Lawrence: The Life of an Outsider" by John Worthen. In summation i offer this, as copied from the article...

Dying of tuberculosis in the winter of 1929-30, unable to walk, and rendered sexually impotent by his disease, he wrote these words on the last page of his last book:

"Man wants his physical fulfilment first and foremost, since now, once and once only, he is in the flesh and potent. For man, the vast marvel is to be alive. For man, as for flower and beast and bird, the supreme triumph is to be most vividly, most perfectly alive. . . . The dead may look after the afterwards. But the magnificent here and now of life in the flesh is ours, and ours alone, and ours only for a time. We ought to dance with rapture that we should be alive and in the flesh, and part of the living, incarnate cosmos..."

DH Lawrence died on March 2, 1930, aged forty-four and weighing all of eighty-five pounds, in Vence, where Frieda (his wife), Aldous and Maria Huxley, and some others buried him, Frieda wrote, “very simply, like a bird".

...No doubt his vitalism was a sick man’s dream of health, and the sickness sometimes corrupts the dream with misanthropy, misogyny, and self-despair. But it would take a robust human animal indeed not to suspect, reading Lawrence, the unused possibility of a quicker, deeper life just beneath the one we live, and not to feel, reading about the man, that he sometimes knew whereof he spoke.

norfolk weeknight

10001

i want to go back to new york city. i miss it. i've said, "i hate it" but i didn't mean it. i take it back. i've only seen about a third of it (if that much).
it seems to keep people so occupied. it's romantic, dirty and cold. i think its an overall feeling that attracts me to the city; "indifferent" comes to mind, but that hardly sounds attractive(?) ;creative, chance, inspiring, possibility, people, worlds, sidewalks, construction, changing, capricious, unstuck... i think of it as the ultimate "place to visit" for me. i mean, i could never live there (for my own neurotic tendencies) but more and more i long to visit regularly, especially in the colder part of the year. so many things happen there, and so much has already happened there, all contributing to the majestic ineffability of it all. i can see the lights now, in my minds eye, the smoke of sewers, and yellow cabs, tall buildings and and rear view mirrors.
new york, new york, what makes you so special, really?

edit me

i used to write about times. it never worked. i thought it would help me remember. i still forget. things you try the hardest to forget stand clear in your mind while the events most important become far, removed, or grossly fantastical. a great time is hard to re-create. probably because its already gone. living in the moment, you sure are good and well. the bad memories i have dont last. maybe i dont let them, maybe they dont let me (maybe, i'm just lucky enough not to have too many).
often i wonder about nightmares and significance, coincidence and consequence. i'm pretty boring, in that i take most things as they are--when they're really good or really bad, that's when i attribute responsibility or blame. in this fashion, i imagine many people are the same.













there's a reasonable responsibility in not taking things too seriously.
there's conservatism in liberalism too.
luck is not at all involved.
i trust my instinct though it's failed me before (a moment of naivete, on a bus, in a city 7 miles wide, comes to mind).
we make assumptions all too often though, limiting us in many many ways. it becomes harder to look within. i don't konw many people willing to being again. that's a good way to end.
fornow .

sktbrding.

so the weekend went well-- temp got lots of good footage, and angelo proved he was a man; tyler proved he was a legend and well, all i did was slam. it was cold as shit on the day we actually got to skate and warm for our ride back to Norfolk (bummer). i always liked skating with a goal in mind, and i may have a new one, with a tentative release date for summer 06. skateboarding with some hearts made me realize just how fun it can be, i only wish i was up for the weather and the program on hand this weekend past. all in all, it was well spent, pain and all.