footnote in history

:today; 4 years, 1 month, and 18 days after the September 11th terrorist attack, our President, George Bush is visiting Norfolk to give a speech on terrorism.

mail of now...

or the provisional aspects of email. who saves all their emails? not i, you, him, or her? no. lost forever they are doomed to be; the generation of well documented communication through letters is over. the hand written letters of the past so laboriously constructed, and kept in boxes hidden in closets and under beds is gone. now we "delete our inboxes" forever emptying them into eternity, never to be read again; memories and ideas lost; friendships' depths forgotten. there are obvious benefits to such tasks of ease, but what are the inevitable drawbacks, on the history of our lives? when we look back for tangible memories?
sure, it makes sense to delete the time sensitive reminders and all the messages of insignificant content but what about all the meaningful correspondences destined to be forever lost due to a lack of use or purpose? and are these less and less occurring as well? in other words, has email cheapened communication overall? (as surely the cell phone has! but i wont get into that here.)
just some thoughts i have had recently regarding the deficiency of the new culture of emails and the transiency of thoughts and letters we produce every day, ever more (of which i am guilty of).
sadly, i guess we miss out on some things with the emergence of others.

an anniversary

in pictures

i know i don't need it.

but wanting something doesnt always have to qualify as a neccessity does it?

sealy posturepedic

at work today we went Bowling. i bowled a 117.
i did 3 good noseblunts skating yesterday, to prove to myself i had it down.
i had big plans for the weekend. the weekend is trying to ruin them though.
a one year celebration was in order but the sky says 'rain on you'.

maybe we'll head to D.C. maybe we'll just drive far away. i think a good time, regardless. i just need to get out of Norfolk. everybody just needs to get out of Norfolk sometimes. maybe like once a month at the very least. Norfolk can wear on anybody. maybe anywhere can wear on anybody. i thought about teh benefits of turning off my cell phone for the whole weekend, with an "out on a trip" message; get disconnected. i still might do that if we actually end up going camping...

the weekend

in
no

particular
order.

walls

this all feels a bit too self serving
tonight for me.
i think i will go to bed and try (really hard)
to dream.
my mind is terribly tired of being awake.
its been awhile. i've got these walls that
i need to break through, see through or eat through.
i used to be able to...

"rainrain goaway" no,,wait; stay

the rain won't stop. the trees have tops. the cars have lots.
flooded. wet. soaked. days.

i think its a good week for it i suppose (the rain); being that the wine fest is not until Saturday and the workweek is keeping me busy. the rain should clear by then, the windows see through again.
the wheels on wet streets hsssssing stops.
these nights are long, these days are full.
sleep is important (a clear mind is harder to find).
if i could i would take more naps but i cant seem to give up the time (there's always something to read).
in a brief cease of rain, we skated a bench today in tennis courts so long...

"entertaining isn't always entertaining"

what is it that people want?
today was overcast with little rain. i actually willfully passed up on a skate session. i got a new desk for home. last night i drank lots of scotch and then moved on to wine. trying hard "to have a good time" ending up with a short story and a few nice memories to last for a week or two(?) wake up in the morning with a headache in the morning and mounting tragedies in the news. the whole world seems to be having a bad year, with natural and manmade disasters continually dominating news headlines with depressing and seemless endless suffering. was life always this way? i can't ever remember it being this bad. i feel lucky.

room for prophets

sometimes i think if i get myself into a deep discussion on religion i am bound to offend someone. so, i mostly keep things to myself and speak in generalities and hedge direct questions, without trying to seem too noble, righteous, judging or stubborn in my own thoughts. i just can't take certain religious doctrine or dogma. it can even make me mad at times, but im working on that. i think religion is always going to be a daunting, mystifying, and questionable thing for me. as it should be.

"I'm putting on the brakes..."

on de lib era tion and pro crast ination.
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my fortune: lovely relationships bring out the best in you. i have decided to write more. i can't say yet what it is you will read though, for i continually move forward with no focus. i just imagine a blog to be updated more frequently as to render it meaningful at all (otherwise it's purpose being none other than, to invite frustration on both ends). some days may be daily life recounts, other days may just be pictures; rambles and shambles of a life lived. suffice to say, that, henceforth, you may not know what to expect but expect something resembling semi-regular updates...
i drank an Aventinus after work today (mmman is was good!) last night i saw the Werner Herzog film, Grizzly Man. interesting indeed. a stark account of the madness that solitude and asceticism can bring on, after 13 summers spent with grizzly bears. i recommend it. i must say that the reality of some of it at times is questionable, as it almost seems fake/unbelievable. and how, does one sustain battery life for so long in the barren wilderness all alone for months? details aside, i'm fairly surprised that something of this kind hasn't surfaced before now; but i guess the subject (Timothy Treadwell) ultimately getting eaten by the bears, that he so foolishly trusted, has something to do with an immediate interest in the film (his wacko demeanor notwithstanding).

meet the parents

today was long / i am tired. at the beach i saw a dolphin or two today, playing in waves. i saw my parents today (my parents met her parents today too.) gin and tonic. wine. light dinner (lobster bisque, caeser salad). . .end of the night (?)

i don't listen to The Doors enough anymore. sometimes i want to smoke pot. i get tired too easily with few alternatives; i turn in out of "no turns" outwards. does that make anysense? maybe i further enjoy the morning after. i like reading. i do more also. i am forgetful of people and places. i look inside. "what was that promise that you made?" i keep telling myself, "i'm gonna do this and i'm gonna do that." tomorrow is another day for me to try. i wonder what it will bring? i'll fall asleep tonight and dream (hopefully). it's almost time. . .

"words can be like x-rays, if you use them properly-they'll go through anything." you need only to find something worth writing about; focus. goodnight.